13 ways to get through a tough healing protocol (or time!)
4 years ago I was a shaky mess, sitting on my bathroom floor with a fussy newborn in my lap while my 2-year-old son jumped on my shoulders to come and play. But play: I could barely. Walking was a major effort for my depleted body.
My body was destroyed by a multitude of factors and my new friend, anxiety, had come to run my show alongside extreme fatigue. I’d never struggled with anxiety or panic, but was amidst a nutritionally deficient, multi-autoimmune flare that would continue to last several months until I found a solution. The solution? Functional nutrition. I was nursing a baby, so my options for healing were limited if I wanted to continue nursing. So, food it was!
Stopping gluten consumption - cold turkey - came alongside a strong recommendation from my practitioner to also stop dairy. While these eliminations were my gateway drugs to healing, the emotional pains that came alongside these eliminations were overwhelming to say the least. I sat on my bathroom floor and cried. More than once.
Whyyyyy meeeee? I hosted a book club mostly built around baked goods. In college, I regularly gathered women for socials and served up 4 layer cakes. The bulk of our family’s holiday celebrations focused on a month-long baking spree where we prepared tens of types of cookies and shared them with friends and clients alike.
SO many good memories tied to this new food purgatory I’d been sentenced.
To add insult to injury, I was surviving as a solo-mom in that newborn phase eating toddler foods - greek yogurt, granola, sandwiches and cheese n’ crackers. I thought the protein and fat they offered were quick shortcuts to some nourishment in that season and my dining partners would eat them. Now those precious standby foods were going away.
This was my first introduction to the power of food in healing and it was NOT off to a start with any good feels. A friend had suggested I enter into care with a functional medicine provider, but at the end of that first appointment and recommendations, I wasn’t so sure. I was very, very sick and my general doctor had only vague help to offer, meanwhile my poor symptoms continued to progress.
As I continued in functional care - looking for the root cause of my struggles - I joked with my provider that I’d do anything but give up my beloved chocolate, pasta, cheese, coffee and sure enough - healing involved an elimination diet that removed nuts, alcohol, coffee, eggs, seeds, gluten, dairy, grains, legumes, nightshades, refined and processed sugars, oils and food additives. And it was, indeed, the thing I needed to heal. More crying…but mostly in the kitchen during meal prep times.
I left those first several appointments very discouraged, with a list of supplements to take, habits to change, an Rx for “rest” (remember the littles and solo momming…) and I sat most everywhere and cried big, snotty tears. On several…different occasions.
I eventually decided this was happening FOR me, could bring healing (but I’d have to try, to see) and did have the potential to end in freedom from my sicknesses. I learned how to apply my baking skills to different flours. I learned about the nourishment that whole, nutrient-dense foods had to offer. I saved money on convenience and prepared, processed foods, as Iearned to do a lot with a sweet potato, but best of all…. I eventually found significant healing. I’m not so grateful that I took a long while to get totally on board, but I am very thankful that my experiential learning of what you’re likely going through came first. Later, I went back to school to learn the science behind what happened and am now on this side of the recommending.
Now I’m the one handing out the weird food lists, designing lengthy supplement protocols and sending you home with a pretty gift bag full of several things to take and do, daily. I get to reassure clients they’ve got this - and I see that they feel they’re in the right place, but not always so sure it’s going to work. I understand. While I explain the process and we recount symptoms and what to expect, I know all too well how they feel.
One of my biggest challenges as a natural health practitioner is that my success depends heavily on my client’s ability to make big life changes. Lengthy supplement protocols that feel like a part time job at times…Changing deeply embedded habits tied to feelings and memories.new and often complicated dietary restriction…this stuff is SO hard on a good day! Let alone if you’ve been struggling with chronic symptoms. I truly wish I could move in with them, cook their food and cheerlead all day long..but: I can’t. This is the good, healing work they need to do for themselves.
I’m guessing that if you’re still reading, you have embarked on some strict season of healing. Maybe you’ve cut gluten and/or dairy. You may be on a multi-month healing journey to get to the root of chronic issues like I used to be. Or you may be dabbling in the 1-month elimination of my Rewind and Reset course.
Wherever you are, here’s your pep talk: It is ABSOLUTELY possible to work even the hardest healing protocol with full compliance. AND: you’re going to see the fruit from it. IT’S WORTH IT!
I’ve now been on both sides of this story so many times and have put both myself, my children and myself through many healing protocols and have learned a thing or two about how this all goes down.
What follows are my 13 strategies for surviving a healing protocol. Whether you’re supporting a child who needs to fast for a lab test or in the middle of a longer-term healing protocol, these ideas will be worth returning to again and again - on the hard days - and may even help you enjoy the process. Healing will come, yes. But there is so much more fruit from the experience and the disciple. Promise.
This isn’t forever! It’s for a set period of time!
This mantra would have been helpful, handed out with my first rounds of protocols. Just like the fears of pressing through nursing a baby for months to come or finishing the marathon when it’s hard, one thing is true: it can’t last forever. I was under the impression, initially that I would be tied to my elimination diet FOREVER. When I saw my body begin to heal and learned that reintroducing foods was on the horizon, I shifted to happy tears.
Now, if you know me, you’re probably thinking: BUT YOU DON’T EAT GLUTEN OR DAIRY STILL. And yes, this is true. Much because I learned how detrimental gluten is to my autoimmune disease, gut health and mental health - it’s an easy choice for me. As for dairy, I can dabble in it from time-to-time, if I choose, but I generally feel so much better on goat’s dairy - so I choose foods to support my health now - and it’s EASY!
The most complex portions of your healing journey are often in the early season, as you do the deeper work. For some people, it’s a handful of weeks or several months; for others it’s a multi-year endeavor. The length of your protocol all depends on how advanced your depletion and progression is when you start out. Another word of encouragement for you:
The stronger your commitment, the faster you heal! And the deeper your results!
Healing protocols are best done with a full commitment (150%). My clients who have had the greatest healing and results are the ones who did it full power. Halfway just doesn’t cut it! I will gladly point the finger at myself.
Recently I embarked on a parasite eradication protocol to get at a root of my autoimmune disease and decided after the first month of tough symptoms passed, that I would take it easy on my supplements and let a grain or two sneak in. Well guess what that coincided with? A sustained toxic exposure in my environment and I quickly ended up reacting to most any and all food, with a worse problem than I had started with and a start-of-healing-phase to go through again. Had I stayed the course, it would have fought my reaction to the toxins and I’d been on track with regular detox.
Either way, when I slack on being clear about my dietary needs at a restaurant or want to sneak a bit of this or that thing my Mom baked: I always pay for it. Outside influences can be hard. People look at your flaring eczema (things usually get worse before they get better - healing reactions), you have to skip events because you’re depleted or detoxing…your family (or worse, your kiddos!) don’t understand. To this….I’ll respond to your texts “We don’t care what everyone else thinks: we’re after a healed and whole YOU.”
Not to be dramatic, but coming close to losing my life a couple times and I have a strong case of the “f— that’s”. I don’t mind what you think. I don’t mind if my healing interferes with your preferences…I’m no good if I’m not here.
Get your loved ones on board.
This step can be a deal-maker or a real deal-breaker. This can run a gamut, but if your partner or family isn’t supportive, the best thing you can ask for is no negative input. They don’t have to understand or make sense of it all, but they CAN agree to not bring you down. Never underestimate the power of your family support (or pressure)!
Remember, you’re doing a hard thing that involved a lot of change: and change is scary. Worst yet, this work can often hold up a mirror to those closest to us as they can become very aware of what they’re not doing. Though your journey has nothing to do with them, your new choices can feel like a direct attack on their choices. I still run into this from time-to-time with sweet friends - they’ve decided that I expect them to eat how I choose to or that I look down on them because they enjoy this or that food….NOPE. We all have different bodies and callings and needs. What works for me doesn’t even work well for the next person in a healing protocol: no judgement.
The best to thing to do here is keep the conversation going. Share what you’re doing and most importantly: why you’re doing it. Communicate your feelings toward them around their health choices…they’re their own. They don’t have to do it, but you can (and should!) totally ask for support - chop veggies, grocery helpers, an increase in budget etc. If you’re fasting, ask that they take the kiddos out, rather than having you cook. If you’re avoiding your top 3 most favorite foods EVER, maybe they can agree to keep them out of the house for the time of your protocol.
Get clear on what you need to succeed.
It will be much easier for you and your support if everyone is clear on what you need to succeed. Organize the cupboards, scheduled meal prep or veggie chop. Clean out the pantry junk foods that tempt. Create a system or a rhythm for organizing your supplements so they’re available whether eating at home or out.
And if this feels overwhelming to you, reach out. Some of these services I pop in and do or offer in-office! I am so glad to be a support and wealth of ideas, so reach out for support, here! One of my top tips is to print and post your protocol and foods you can eat list on the back of a few cupboards and as “favorited photos” in your phone for easy reference.
Make a list of what you CAN eat, not what you CAN’T.
Grab my gluten-free, dairy-free snack list - the last two pages have a list of all fruits, veggies, nuts, Whole Foods and more! Print those pages out and sharpie out the foods you can’t eat - hang this where you will see it or maybe where you’ll you meal plan. Focusing on what we DO HAVE always fills our cup…and in this case, your bowl. We also want to be sure you’re eating a variety of foods so you’re not creating new sensitivities by eating the same things day-in and day-out.
Again, if this is an overwhelming piece for you, reach out and schedule a half or full hour call to strategize a menu or ideas. We can do this online, easily, to get you on track! I will admit that there are some hard food lists for clients and some much harder ones. But either way, there are more foods you can eat than those that you can’t! With a little creativity you can create a plan and work it. Focus on the abundance of what you do have and refer to the first point if you’re feeling panicked.
Be expectant for an adventure and grow in flexibility.
You’re learning new things! You’re eating new foods! And while this can be a hefty challenge, because there’s unknown and unknown = scary. You get to have choice here! Feel the fear, live in it, feed it and grow it OR turn fear into the enemy, turn the fears over to higher power - for me this looks like confession to God of my fears and asking that he take them away and replace them with hope and energy to get done what I’m called to. I’ve lived both of these options and it’s the latter that was more joyful, empowering, freeing and straight healing.
I walked into my first hot yoga class, shaking with fear tho I begged a friend to go with me. Guess what happened? I fell hard and fast for a sustaining, life-giving, detoxing habit of yoga and now my boys use those same yoga tools to calm their anxious minds. Trickle-down wellness. You just may learn how to master the previously terrifying cooking, that elusive movement habit, etc. : but not if you don’t try!
Each time I’ve done a healing protocol, I’ve come out with new foods, new recipes, new routines and a newer, stronger mind. Attitude is everything. You are in charge of how hellish or delightful this season is: choose wisely. And plan for an end or incremental rewards. Having something to look forward to always propels me toward goodness. Treat yourself to a meal prep class, take a restorative yoga workshop instead of a hot class - heck plan a beach vacation. Whatever it takes to get your adventure juices flowing and push you toward flexible.
Plan for your new basics.
THE key to explore new foods is having a plan. At this moment, you probably have 3 breakfasts that you rotate on the daily. A few go-to snacks and you probably eat the same 5-10 dinners. Ditto that on lunch. New food protocols often remove your go-to’s - the perfect time to pause and design your new go-tos in one swoop!
The solution is planning:
3 key breakfasts, one prepped and frozen (Egg bites, muffin, smoothies prepared).
Come up with 7 dinners (bonus if 14!) and rotate - this is a whole month of meals.
Cook enough dinner, so leftovers can be your lunch. A lot of roasted meals work great on a bed of lettuce or a simple slaw. Lunch? Check!
Make a snack list of 10 snacks you can have, 5 that you can grab and post it inside your cabinet. Bonus points if you use my gluten-free, dairy-free guide as a jumping point. Ideas = less work for you! You can also take this list and cross off anything you can’t have, so you’re left with a “can have” list to post up in your snack cabinet.
As with all of these tips - if this feels really hard for you, let’s schedule a call to plan out your list, together - or better yet, I offer a full meal planning service, too. Another great option is to use the meal planning service, Real Plans, to customize your meals fit with recipes, grocery lists and lots of good inspiration.
8. Find substitutes for what you’ll miss most.
Soy sauce for coconut aminos…No peanut butter cups? How about an evolved coconut butter cup? These are my jam! No hidden valley ranch? Try Tessamae’s ranch!
What is it about the Mac n cheese you love…the noodles, the cheese, the memories, the texture? What’s your comfort food? Make a plan b. How can you recreate that experience? My grandma’s chocolate chip cookie recipe isn’t something I make often, but sometimes I just need a taste of life with her so I’ve adapted her recipe with gluten-free flour, make a big batch and store both dough balls and lightly cooked cookies in my freezer…the deep freeze in the garage so that I’m not daily tempted. But when I miss em, I know I’ve got a quick, simple, portioned solution.
9. Plan for social occasions and outings!
Have a baby smoothie on the way - showing up with a satisfied belly helps a lot! Communicate with the host your needs and plan ahead as much as possible. So many restaurants are happy to accommodate.
For prepared meals or fixed menus, I either come with the expectation to not eat or a simple, typed paper that lists my desired modification of their menu - with a short note that I appreciate them accommodating my “allergies”. I simply pass this to the waiter when I order my meal - saying my dietary restrictions are a little complex and I appreciate their help, so I helped with a clear explanation he can pass along. I don’t drop the “allergy” word often, because for me, it isn’t true - but it does help a restaurant staff to take pause and serve me what I need at an event.
Plan for seltzer water with a fruit garnish or recall that a mock tail supports your goal of healing. Remember that the focus here is SOCIAL not FOOD….keep those priorities in line and you can and WILL still have a great time. Set the intention!
10. Find a couple restaurants that work.
We’re all social beings and we all want to grab lunch with friends, meet our partner after work and have someone else cook for us. Date night doesn’t need to be a thing of the past if we plan! Maybe the alternate list is chipotle or a local Thai place or a mediterranean spot. Farm-to-table restaurants are a good choice as they prepare their food daily from actual food. A lot less pre-made pieces and they typically have an abundance of real food on hand to substitute with. Steakhouses can be a great option too! Believe it or not, many places have gluten-free and even allergen-free menus. You can order “oil free” to avoid soy, salt and pepper only to avoid unknown spices or possible gluten. You can even ask for a glove change to be sure there’s no cross contamination if you need it!
Generally, restaurants are more than happy to accommodate and ensure you enjoy your experience. Lots more on eating out and completing a protocol in my Rewind and Reset course. I’m also a HUGE fan of local cooking courses for date night. Several spots are featuring gluten-free chefs or meals that are often gluten, dairy and sometimes nightshade free.
11. Set your intention: fun!
Your attitude REALLY matters! You are in control of how you perceive the world and how you reframe and handle tough things. This phase of healing is happening FOR you! Enjoy it! Learn new things! Spend your time learning new habits, develop your curiosity toward new foods and new experiences. Make a goal to try something each week - a food, a class, a new park to walk in - whatever floats your boat: just keep that energy going.
12. You can do hard things.
Make a list of 5 hard things you’ve done. Right now: go. Birthed a child? Buried a loved one? Finished high school? Or college? Left that scary job or worse: that scary partner? Make the list…on paper. Post it on your bathroom mirror.
Write number 6: COMPLETED A HEALING PROTOCOL THAT BROUGH HEALTH AND LIFE TO MY BODY AND FAMILY. You’ve got this!
13. The results are worth the effort!
I am writing this at the start of the COVID-19 isolation phase our country in venturing into to slow the anticipated spread of a virus and protect the vulnerable and elderly among us. For an extroverted, solo mom who is self employed and works from home…with a kindergarten and a preschooler now….this could feel like a ton of effort. Perspective is the key!
Just like a bit of extra effort to get work done, to live life, to keep clean hands, to grocery shop amidst crazy crowds or to stay distanced from my older parents a bit, the result of a collective effort to slow the spread and protect folks is worth the effort! Same goes for your healing protocol.
When I started my healing years ago, I was very skeptical of anything that didn’t feel like a safe, MD-led, pharmaceutical rich plan. But. That wasn’t an option for me so I had to risk the chance of eliminating my painful stomach, constant shaking, year-long-dizziness and my nutritionally deficient body. At that point, I could barely walk from one room to the next and could certainly not carry my baby without help - so it seemed wise to jump off and give it a go. It took a couple months to regain my physical strength to do normal things like walk AND carry my baby. Several months would pass before I could walk without dizziness or stand without an extreme blood pressure drop. My high viral levels wouldn’t receded for nearly a year, but my healing did come. Day-by-day, I healed. Now I’ll get a phase of dizziness that is a signal to me that my diet is off or I’m not focusing on detox or movement habits enough. I have been able to reintroduce almost every food I had eliminated without issue.
